Friday, August 19, 2005

A Gift for Us

Yesterday I got my biopsy results. My wife and I had prayed and prayed. The closer we got to the appointment, the more urgently we prayed. We prayed in the car. We prayed all the way into the building. Out loud. Must have seemed a little weird to the people we were walking through. Prayed in the elevator. Prayed in the waiting room. Prayed desperately in the appointment room. "God don't let them find it to be malignent cancer."

And it was.

It felt like our last medical hope was kicked out from under us just like that. The tumor on my kidney is 6 inches across. No wonder I'm almost always feeling bloated and can't eat much.

Despair really overwhelmed us. Our worst fears gripped us and we wept and wept. Just sat and cried. How can it be that every time we look for an answer the situation turns incredibly worse? How can it be that every time we look to God to bail us out here, He turns the tide against us? How can it be that our last medical hope - physical hope is now gone? The worst case scenerio. Renal (kidney) cancer. A really big one. And spreading to the liver and lungs. Now confirmed.

This from the first blogpost by Dwayne Harms - who pastored Living Hope Church in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan - on Thursday 30 June 2005. Dwayne died on Tuesday 16 August at the age of 37 after chronicling the last leg of his journey. I've started reading his thoughts and they're helpful meditations from his unique vantage point.

If you think of it, pls speak with God ab Dwayne's family - he leaves a wife and two children.

via jordon

1 comment:

mytruth said...

omg...this was powerful. I felt the way he has several times....God be with them